NICU Week 6 - Stand Firm

     We are SO close to getting out of the NICU! Nathan is 4lbs 13oz now. I'm getting my hopes up if I'm being honest. Nathan still has milestones to reach before he can come home. He's reached 3 of the 5, but the last two, are big milestones. His car seat test will be 90 minutes long and they will only do that test once he's eating his whole bottle, at every feeding, for 48 hours straight. While I know my boy and my God are capable of this. I know that I'm getting my hopes up and will let myself down with unrealistic expectations of the situation. He cannot come home until he is 35 weeks gestation which he will be on Sunday, September 29th. So I think that's been a goal for me. "If we get to 35 weeks, we're golden'' When, in all reality, he could have up to 5 more weeks in the NICU. We are all praying that isn't the case, but I'm trying to be realistic and optimistic at the same time. But 35 weeks y'all!!!! We are so close to that milestone and that excites me! Nathan is truly doing so well, if he has to stay a few extra days/weeks to ensure he is healthy enough and developmentally able to come home, then that's what we will have to do. Romans 8:25 comes to mind, "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently". I hope that Nathan continues to do well with his feedings, I hope that he comes home soon, so patiently, I'll wait. 

    This week has been tough on the home front. I've had multiple concerns heavy on my heart but all I can do is pray about them and let the Lord's will be done. Some things are out of our control. Some things we can control and have decisions to make. When life throws me curveballs that make my world feel like it's spinning, I'm reminded of the old hymnal, ''On God the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand". You need solid rock for the foundation of a home to be able to withstand the storms. With God as our foundation, we will withstand any storm that comes our way no matter how bad it may be. After all, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

    Sometimes it feels as if the closer I get to God, the stronger my faith gets, the more I'm tested. The more I'm put in situations that would bring out the anxiety, the doubt or the worst in me. That means I have to lean more on God and put on the full armor of God. The struggle here is a spiritual battle. I'm not going to war with others, but I'm dealing with the war for my heart and soul, for my children's hearts and souls. The devil knows he had me before and knows what my weaknesses are. He knows how to act and when to attack and does so without a second thought. Therefore when I am weak, I have to allow the Lord to be strong. I have to push even harder into my faith when I feel the devil trying to attack. I will not give into my anxiety, I will not make way for doubt, and I will not allow the enemy to bring me out of character. After all, the Lord fights our spiritual battles for us. All we have to do is be still, and stand firm in our faith. 

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.” 1 Peter 5:8-9